Tag Archives: story

DRINK DRIVING…

… using a phone, using your feet to steer, trying out your new autopilot invention. All things that the law frown upon and  are classified as dangerous driving! These are nothing compared to the perils that come about from bbc coventry and warwickshire and local radio in general! It is possibly the dullest thing ever and acctually nearly caused me to doze off. The first feature was a man describing the ins and outs of dressing like a victorian which was soon followed by a feature which asked the question what is better a cat or an airoplane (!) This genuinehad an old man giving us a live tour of an airoplane museum over the airwaves (no pun intended). I image he looked a bit like this from the knee down:

 

 

 

 

 The sport section comprised of live snooker commentary. The jist of this was “he is trying to pot the red… he did it”

If this doesnt send you to sleep and wrap your car around a tree then it will make you want to drive off a bridge. I would like too see the statistics for local radio related road traffic accidents or even fatalities. The world is a safer place without local radio.

Come to think of it this does acctualy bring about the question; Why didn’t I change station?

Is incest bad Mr. Google?

I was on goole t’uther day and started typing “is it…” when these sugestions popped up. Check the top one:

I heard that is in the top 96% of all google searches in Herefordshire.

A strange predicament of morals!

I popped into the disabled loo quickly today as I was too lazy to use the normal ones (The disabled ones are always much more luxurious). Anyway, as I was in there I heard someone try to come in so I listened and It was a disabled kid in need of a toilet to match his needs! A wave of terror passed through me, I can’t have his helper see me come out of the disabled loo after making them wait when the normal toilet is next door. Its like taking a disabled parking space when you don’t even have so much as a limp! What does one do…?!

…So I decided to be silent, sit it out and hope they would think it was broken or something and use another toilet.

25 minutes and 3 games of poker on the iphone later they decided to leave! At that point I ran out and fled around the corner, desperate not to be seen!

I’m not sure what is worse, being seen exiting a disabled toilet to be greeted by a disaproving look or shake of the head, or, the knowledge you have deprived a special needs kid of the toilet and a possible damp spell for the next half hour. I don’t quite know why im sharing this but it seemed an odd moral predicament to be in.

Oh well my conscience is clean! Moral of this story, don’t take what isn’t yours!