Tag Archives: London

Its up there…

…with question’s like “Whats the meaning of life?” and “Does God exist?”. Well for me anyway. I often find myself pondering the same question but never get any closer to an answer. Well here’s the question:

“If you were a tramp would you choose to be homeless in a posh fancy area or one which isn’t as nice and a bit grim?”

There are a few sides to this argument:

My first thoughts were that in a posher area, such as Mayfair, you might get given more money and it is a much nicer area to be which might also perk you up a bit when feeling glum. A no brainer right? Hold your horses! I dont know if economics is high on the priority list of tramps but surely saving money is, and for this reason I propose being homeless in a less affluent area. In a poorer and less glamorous area you may not get as much in terms of spare change quantity but things like a cup of coffee, food would be cheaper and most corner shops do the 6 cans of red stripe for a fiver deal. Would this leave more disposable income in the hands of the homeless? or would it all be proportional? Also I feel people in a less affluent are may be able to empathise more and result in greater acts of niceness. Saying that if you were media hungry and wanted to make it as  an ‘it-tramp’ the posher places are the place to be.

I thought I had an epiphany when I came up with the idea of the tramp commuting. He cold busk in a posh area and spend the fruits of his labour in a cheaper area! Genius! But no, if you had to get a bus or tube that would already put you at a loss for the day and walking might put extra wear and tear on the shoes which aren’t cheap to replace.

All I can say is that I hope this doesn’t happen to me as I’m not sure I would be able to decide, moral of the story; Try not to be homeless, it’s more complicated that it seems.

Party Political Broadcast

Whilst routing through the depths of lies, greed and schoolboy name slinging called politics I managed to stumble across this fella who was running in my constituency, his name? Rainbow George Weiss!

A few policies and facts:

– He would abolish parliament and replace it with a computer that would make key  decisions

-Turn London into a world party city

-He would abolish all debts and change the currency to “the wonder” made up of 100 “gasps”

-turn the M25 into a “wonderwall”

-He recruited Russell Brand to run for London Mayor (although he later withdrew)

-Cut the working week

-Have compulsory rainbow Jubilees

-Create the Emerald Rainbow Islands

What I learneded today

Some things I learnt today that you can/ cant do:

 -A cab driver is supposed to ask each of his passengers whether they are carrying diseases such as smallpox and the plague’. A driver is allowed to urinate in public, as long as it is on the rear wheel of the vehicle with his right hand placed on it.

-There is still a law that requires the commanding officer of a Royal Navy ship to hand over a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London when entering the Port of London.

-It’s illegal to drive or conduct cattle through any street between 10am and 7pm

-Beat or shake a rug in any street in the Metropolitan Police District Though you can shake a doormat before 8am.

-Die in Parliament

-Enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour

-Shag in Epping Forest

-Be drunk in a pub

-Dance In some Pubs

-Go into Space

-Wash your clothes in the fountains in Trafalgar Square

-To blow any horn in public Unless you are a guard or postman

-Gamble on public transport

-Impersonate a Chelsea Pensioner

F>A>C>T

Kilbrn Exterminators!

An exponentioal explosion of fun at 29a last saturday night. 4 comrades with 1 mission: Catch the mouse! We devised this cunning “trap” in order to snare the vermin…. Needless to say it didn’t work.

P.S. the brown stuff is peanut butter, I think we were ill informed that mice like it.

Mouse Trap!

Why I believe my students endevour at college

Upon browsing Jobs I noticed this… Possibly the worst/ best job title ever!!

dsfsd

MISSING PERSON PLEA

My good friend has fallen in love. The trouble is he has lost her. We aren’t sure of her name or where shes from but we last saw her at candybox, aka, moonlighting just of Soho square, London. She is the one on the far right with the gentleman in question next to her (the one with the face of Joy).

I you have seen her you would make a young man very happy.

Amy Winehouse Lives By Me! (maybe)

Had to have a chuckle at this, Living in glitziest London this is just up the road from me. Upon first glimpse it looks like a crack den but no, look at the front door, it has been, somewhat ironnicaly I believe, named ‘THE CHALLET’. Must add another £100 to the weekly rent!Challet