Tag Archives: Football season

A mans guide to surviving the close season

If you are like me and are not sure how you will cope with out football every weekend here are a few Ideas to get you by:

1, Spend some ‘quality’ time with your girlfriend. If she is not aware it’s the end of the football season DO NOT tell her as you can gain mega brownie point which can be redeemed for pub/ match time when the season starts again.

2, If you do not have a girlfriend get one. A kind of a distraction theory. You will not be too worried about the lack of football when you are snuggling in the cinema and txting her how amazing she is. By the time the season comes around , say 9 weeks, the novelty of a new girlfriend will have well and truly worn off and you can focus back on the football.

3, Move to Russia, Choose a club to follow over there as the football season continues all through the summer!

4, Spend the spare time designing/ building a time machine. You will never need to witness a close season again! Might make a bit of money aswell if you sell your creation to apple.

5, Hibernate, time goes quickly when you are asleep!

6, Go to the cricket, wear your football shirt, watch it like Poznan fans do with your back to the action, close your eyes and it could pass for a match at the emirates. Repeat each weekend.

7, Watch DVD’s and season reviews of your clubs successful seasons and pretend you don’t know the scores.  You can guarantee a succesful season then!

8, Lobby the FA for A 365 day season but change the rules so the players get a week off at christmas. That would justify some of the wages.

9, Create your own country, you can then run that country’s FA and make the season whenever you want, you may have some issues importing your club into your new country but to be honest I would focus on the making of a new country first.

10, Sit in the corner of your living room rocking back and forth grasping the sky remote in one hand and football rattle in the other watching sky sports news on repeat. Hysterically counting down the seconds untill the charity shield kicks off!