Easy listening!

I couldn’t think of anything more relaxing on a lovely summers day. “look at mans head!”
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No way!!!!!

How have I not noticed this before. This is too good to be an accident!

Facebook….

… really is becoming a pointless waste of time. I am going to invent software that can recognise a boring status and eliminates it before it is set on the facebook community life an affliction. You get 3 strikes then a lifetime ban. To emphasise my point and the desperate need for my invention, here is what I have learnt from facebook in the last hour:

  • 17 people have informed me its sunny.
  • Someone is on a train
  • A kid I went to school with is having a party (im not invited)
  • “OH SHIT!”
  • 43 people “feel like crap”
  • 15 people hate work
  • 3 have a holiday in 2 weeks
  • 7 have uploaded yet another picture of their dog and informed me of how cute it is.
  • Someone had dinner
  • 2 people are off work and “Luvin it”
  • 3 are never drinking again
  • 1 is listening to music
  • 3 people “need to stop bitching and making up rumours”
  • 1 person will never love again.

If you are going to post a status i want it to be as interesting, profound and educational as this: “Lost t shirt, lost wallet, pissed the bed, I mustv been drunk”

POINT MADE

Traffic Report: tailbacks on the A5 at Hendon…

…due to a mobility scooter hogging the middle lane!!

5ive. Unsung(no pun intended) musical heroes.

During the Afore mentioned road trip, we purchased 120 hits of the 90’s. A 6 C.D. classic with all the songs that didnt cost too much to license their inclusion. During the 500 minutes of 90’s classics It became aparent to me what masters of the english language 5 were. Here are a few examples of particularly good wordsmansmith.

“Like Janet my reaction’s hard, I’m addictive, Better lock your kids in im Coming to your area” Everybody Get up

Now I’m the bad boy That you invite for dinners Ain’t got no manners Cos I eat with my fingers. Everybody get up

Na na na na na nah Na na na na na na na nah (Repeat 4x)                                                 Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, Na na na na na nah Na na na na na na na nah
(Repeat 4x) Got the feelin’

I’m on the microphone, got you hot like the sun. Got the feelin’

Your boobs that is, as I slide up and down. Well lets flip it side to side
We’ll take it slow then fast for a funky ride. Sex you up

yippee yo yippee four quarter slam, everybody grab a party and just get on down. Slam Dunk da funk

What, what c’mon. Perplexin’ as I wrecks the decks. So checks the flex my potential sex. I bring the funk to your necks check it. Serious

On my Ipod

This weeks most listened to choons for all you hipsters out there:

1 Kid Carpet

2, The Unicorns

3, The tallest man on earth

NEW FEATURE! English place names that sound like willies (or just rude)

Drove 4 and a half hours to Middlesbrough at the weekend for 2 hours then came straight back. Along the way I saw a few funny place names, the first on the list is the best I saw and the others have been researched:

1, Hampole       2, Brown Willy       3, Cock and Bell Lane        4, Upper Dicker

5, Dicks Mount      6, Balls Cross       7, Mincing Lane      8, Willey

9, Titty Ho      10, Wetwang      11, Fanny Hands Lane      12, Bell End